Open Letter to Kareena Kapoor Khan

Kareena Kapoor Khan

Kareena Kapoor Khan

Dear Kareena ji,

Aap kaise ho? Congratulations on the success of your Aamir Khan led all-star-cast film ‘Talaash’ as well as looking ravishing in your Farah Khan directed item number ‘Fevicol se’ from the next Salman Khan starrer…’Dabbang 2.’ You are a fine actress and deserve all the attention that comes your way but I must ask, could you possibly just relax and let us (the public) give you some praises for a change? Must you always grab headlines for praising yourself? Last week I read an interview you gave to the Hindustan Times which went on to give birth to as many as four sizzling headlines at last count; (‘Saif is ahead of his time’, ‘I am doing the pelvic thrust in Fevicol se’, ‘Saif was also offered Talaash’ & ‘Saif forced me to do Fevicol se’) granted you cannot be blamed for whatever or however the media chooses to sensationalise the statements that you make but you surely can control the gloating right?

I was actually saving all my KKK talk for after I had seen all your recent work but having just read your latest interview with Times of India entitled ‘Post ‘Talaash’, Saif plans to throw party for Kareena I just could not hold it in any longer. The interview itself was fine, after all your husband, Saif Ali-Khan (Nawab of Pataudi) has the right to throw you ten million parties if he so chooses but then you “allegedly” said this:

Saif is still in Lucknow shooting for his film. He is very excited as he has been receiving messages from our family and friends about my performance in ‘Talaash, He was happy about the fact that this is my first big film after our wedding and we have broken the norm to prove that even married women can get the box office going.

Why Kareena why? Did you mean married women in your family (after all your mother Babita was an actress whom I presume gave it up after marriage and your sister Karishma who married in 2003 has not had a box office hit film since then) or did you mean married actresses in Bollywood in general? I actually fell out of my bed when I read that statement from you because I knew not only was it time to blog about it, it was also time to write my first open letter to you, Princess Kareena Kapoor Khan and I knew it would be a lengthy one due to all the excessive name dropping that is about to take place. The fact is, while you might now be a princess, having married a Nawab; there is nothing you are doing that has not be done before. Grace Kelly (God rest her soul) was an acclaimed actress in Hollywood before she married Rainier III (God rest his soul), His Serene Highness The Sovereign Prince of Monaco and became Her Serene Highness, Princess of Monaco.  Back to Bollywood, the following is a career outline of the top five married actresses in recent memory and their acting achievements since taking the plunge.

  1. Kajol Mukherjee-Devgan (38) married since 1999.  Box Office Successes and critical acclaim since then include; Kabhie Kushie Kabhie Gham (2001), Fanaa (2006), My Name is Khan (2010), We are Family (2010).
  2. Chitrangada Singh (36) married since 2001. Box Office Successes and critical acclaim since then; include Hazaaroon Khwaishein Aisi (2005), Sorry Bhai (2008), Desi Boyz (2011).
  3. Aishwarya Rai-Bachchan (39) married since 2007. Box Office Successes and critical acclaim since then include; Jodhaa Akbar (2008), Sarkar Raj (2008), Raavanan (2010) & Enthiran (2010).
  4. Sridevi Boney Kapoor (49) married since 1996. Comeback queen of the year having taken a break from acting to raise two beautiful daughters with husband director Boney Kapoor; starred in English Vinglish (2012) one of the biggest sleeper hit-films of the year that too without the help of any Khan.
  5. Juhi Chawla (45) married since 1997. Box Office Successes and critical acclaim since then include; Yes Boss (1997), Harikrishnans (1998 Blockbuster Malayalam film), My Brother Nikhil (2005), Bas Ek Pal (2006), Bhoothnath (2008), Krazzy 4 (2008), Son of Sardaar (2012).

So you see Bebo ji, it is not always about you. There is always the possibility that someone else has already been there and done that. Still, I applaud you and your sister Karishma ji for giving filmy-kids a good name by blossoming into forces to be reckoned with in the world of Bollywood thespians and for adding that feminine bindaas sparkle to the Kapoor acting dynasty. Now it is time to leave some of the ego-stroking to the jannata hai na? All is well.

All the best,

VW

Credit: TOI for the interview excerpt and Viral Bhayani for the photo

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8 thoughts on “Open Letter to Kareena Kapoor Khan

  1. For the second time, i agree with u to almost 90%..

    And before i begin, a DISCLAIMER : I really like Kareena in Talaash and in parts of Heroine! So i’m NOT a Kareena Hater. There are other films also in which i liked her, but since these 2 are the recent ones, i quoted them!

    Coming to your post. Well.. What can i say. You almost said what i wanted, but here’s something that i’d like to add up!

    See firstly, its just her, or rather their (Nawab & his Begum’s) PR overdrive! And all i can see or interprete is that they are just positioning themselves as a –
    1. Modern Couple
    2. Power Couple &
    3. Royal Couple

    Sadly their onscreen jodi has never clicked & worked at box office. So its obvious that they’ll try (hard) to be the ”it” couple in the public eye. And i see no wrong in that.. Bcoz film stars ought to be in the news! And these days even B & C Lists stars have PR!

    But what i dont like abt her is Self Trumpeting attitude. C’mon lady, You are one of the sort after actresses today, having a good personal life *touchwood*, then WHY on earth you always blow your own trumpet? LET YOUR WORK SPEAK FOR ITSELF.

    And regarding the ”100 crore Heroine” or ”Khan Favourite” tag, i think she is smartly cashing on the Khans. She was just an eye candy in 3 Idiots, Body Guard & Ra.One. (Her role is Talaash was meatier, but it was an Aamir Khan film all the way.) So I just cant digest that she is their lucky mascot or stuff like that… Why would a Khan need lucky mascot? But she is not the only one who is cashing in. Rani, Asin & Sonakshi are also doing that.

    All i wish is that she just need to tone down on the PR drives. (BTW sorry for dragging her, but even Ash needs to tone down on her PR, but we’ll discuss that some other time).

    I really like the – Natural & Not trying hard to impress anyone Kareena, bas she needs to be that!

  2. Hi Rahul, thanks for commenting. For me, PR activity is when a statement is made by a paid third party on behalf of their affiliated celebrity, Bebo has made these statements herself (as she does 99.9% of the time) which is what has thrown me for a loop. Also, thanks for letting me know her title “Begum” I called her princess because I wasn’t sure what title she inherited when she married Saif. 🙂

    N.B. I just was wondering why you said Aishwarya needs to tone down her PR? What with practically every new starlet dragging her name into the media everyday it’s small wonder she remains a household name even without having a current film in Bollywood.

  3. Well written article! I hope she reads it and stops self-gloating in her own bubble. She might be 32 but her brain is like someone of a 12 year old. She is just a lost case.

  4. @Vishal HAHAHAHAHA I LOVE THIS COMPARISON!!!! Very very true!

    @Voiceswriter How come I didn’t see this letter before? What a joy for me to see you doing that to Kareena, we all know she’s my “dear” friend!! :))
    No but I think she’s just delusional once again. She’s like saying that the fact she married just before the release of Talaash could have influenced the BO results… ALLO KAREENA!! People don’t care!! They came to see Aamir anyway!! lol
    Maybe she was scared for herself, maybe she’s scared for her career I don’t know. Maybe she just want to assess the fact that she too will be a successful actress after marriage, like Aishwarya or Kajol. But I wonder why she feels the absolute need to say it, nobody thinks she’s gonna fade away right now (she will eventually but not because of marriage haha).

    Plus she won’t be a Khan favourite forever, look at what happened to Rani and Preity’s careers (I miss them)! She has to go towards better roles because being an eye candy in Bodyguard may be great at the BO but in 10 years nobody will remember… (sorry I know you like that movie)

    Bye bye!

  5. Dear Mam,
    I am a very big fan of you as you are as beautiful as a queen that’s why you are known as queen of Bollywood, & I had seen your movies like JAB WE MET & RA. ONE . I had heard your item song FEVICOL SE, It is a marvellous song.
    well , I had also seen 3 IDIOTS & it was too funny as well as a lesson giving movie. Hope to see more movies of yours.
    and please visit Kolkata whenever you get a chance to shoot in Kolkata.
    Thank you

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